sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
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If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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