Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
