I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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