I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
