So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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