If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
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I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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