Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
