Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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