he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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