I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How many fucks given?
0.12846
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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