So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
