Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
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