do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
