they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
