Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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