I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
