I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
