i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
