Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize