i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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