I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
