Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Randomize
