turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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