Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
