it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
