We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
its liver damage thursday
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
