She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize