We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize