Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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