So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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