So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Everclear isn't food dammit
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
