Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
