i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
