New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
