So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
