You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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