Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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