They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
