i don't plan on having that self control this summer
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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