"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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