JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.