I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!