dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.