Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
