I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...