You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
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I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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