It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
