Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Never joke about your clitoris.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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