We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
