if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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