She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
