did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize