Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
