i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
