Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
soo... how was my night?
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