I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize