Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
