his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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