rhymes with "ouble enetration"
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
