Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
