He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
