I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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