I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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