yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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