Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
one might say we're banned from that church
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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