I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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