I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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