seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
