all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
